Discovering Life Amidst Death
by Ireina Kurotsuki
Summary: Oneshot, Alternate Ending. A tale of the imagined converstion between L and Light as Light lay on those warehouse stairs, life beating away from him one second at a time. Shonen-Ai, LxLight


**Discovering Life Amidst Death.**

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Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. If I did, everything after the Yotsuba arc would not have occured, L and Light would've hooked up two eps after the chain went on and Near, Mello and Matt would've come in in some other fashion (Just because they rock).

**Warning: Alternate Ending, Mild Shonen-Ai. If you don't like, please don't read! LightxL.  
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**Flames shall be extinguished with great force because it is bush-fire season and I hate bush-fires. Many Australians do.**

This is a drabble-ish one-shot which owes its origins to a practice paper for the QCS exam- the long response paper. The prompt was 'Discovery' from the 2004 paper (I _think_)

It's mild shonen-ai, LxLight to be exact. My English teacher read it over and graded it as she would for the actual QCS paper, and I got a reasonable mark for it, so I didn't hand it to any of my betas. (Sorry guys!)

Please enjoy!

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_Who are you truly?... The angel who soars above... Or maybe the fallen who are deprived... Who are you truly?... Grasp your destiny and choose... For I keep calling for you... But do you listen or do you run from me?... Who are you truly?... Take off the mask... Forget everybody's sneering... Take off the cloak... Forget their mockery... Take off the shadow of namelessness... And most importantly, forget their whispers... Who are you truly?... Stand up... Grasp your sword... And scream as you charge... Scream who you are._

_**This is who I am.**_

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Not everybody knows who they are, and it is quite possible for someone to go through life without purpose, without direction. A single moment, faced with a single decision can show you more often than not in the clear and often cruel light of the truth; flaking away the layers and masks of who you believed you were, until all that is left is your true self, naked of all deception.

Many people do not survive such a harshly forced discovery of all their humanity- all their weaknesses and flaws.

It was this way for Light, as he lay on the cold, ungiving metal stairway leading… somewhere. He really couldn't find it in him to care now, now as the agonising pain in his chest- the heart attack he knew it to be- brought both his dearest dream and his short time as Lord of the New World to a shuddering, crashing halt.

'_No- __**God**__ of the new world.'_ he thought defiantly. _'I did what no other dared- and for a time I achieved it!'_

"Gods don't die Light…" whispered a quiet voice.

'_Who's there?'_ he wanted to ask. But he couldn't force his lips to move, so the words died on his tongue.

As though in answer to his unspoken question something… _someone_ began to coalesce in a column of light let in through one of the jagged holes in the metal roof of the warehouse in which he lay dying.

Humanoid in shape, the semi-transparent… _thing_ bore familiar dark, messy hair and dark ringed greyish eyes that stared blankly, _accusingly_ at him.

'_L…'_ his thoughts acknowledged with wearied acceptance.

That voice again, though stronger now. "But humans, _we_ die, don't we Light. You of all people ought to know that by now. How many of us did you kill in your megalomania at last count hm? Ten thousand? A hundred thousand? Or did you finally break the million mark after you had me killed?" it asked curiously, with no trace of the expected condemnation.

'_And every last one of them rotten, a criminal.'_ Light thought triumphantly, though a worm of doubt began to seed. _'But, __**L**__ wasn't really a criminal… but…but…'_ He realised he was having rather more trouble than he should be with the stringing together of thoughts.

"You killed so many Light." the ethereal entity he'd acknowledged as L sighed. "And now _you_ are dying in exactly the same manner as they. It _does_ have a bitter sort of irony. The murderer, ultimately no better than the 'criminals' he supposedly executed, dying like a dog in this dirty old warehouse. At the hands of one of his apparent allies no less. Ah well, with friends like that it's no wonder you were close to your _enemy_." it said, sad bitterness in the last word.

'_I'm not a murderer!'_ But denial wore thin as the wind whistling through the concrete and steel blew auburn locks into the dying man's face. _'And you would never have been an enemy if you hadn't stood against me.'_ His eyes travelled over that comfortingly familiar angular, catlike face.

"You know, even the most notorious and sadistic serial-killer never counted their tally of victims in the thousands Light." the being only known as L pointed out, seeming to get over the bitterness of his earlier statement.

'_Because they were…'_ his thoughts trailed off.

"Because they were discovered before they _could_. And many of them were executed. Just as…"

'_**I**__ am being.'_ Light finished, forced to acknowledge the truth in L's implied statement.

"As you are being. The world knows your true self Light." It cocked its head to the side, transparent features inscrutable. "And it seems that up till now that was a secret so well hidden; even _you _yourself didn't see it." Almost conversationally it continued. "Do you see it yet? You sealed your fate the day you picked up that notebook."

'_The day I decided to cleanse the world.'_ Light corrected mentally. The steel bands that seemed to be constricting his heart drew tighter and a tiny, breathless gasp slipped from his lips.

L seemed to notice this. "It is almost time Light." he said in a softer, almost tender voice. "You know, God- the real one that is, who holds _all_ life equal? Even thieves, rapists and…"

'_Murderers?'_

The apparition of L looked at Light as though hearing the hopeful question. "Even murderers like you. God acknowledges their humanity and accepts their true repentance, even if it _is_ only on their deathbed." he hinted delicately, staring intently at Light, as though willing him to understand.

Rousing himself and gathering the last of his breath and strength, the auburn-haired man forced a single letter from his uncooperative lips.

"L…" he rasped.

"Yes Light-kun?" the ghostly form of L asked, innocent yet hopeful surprise written across its transparent face.

'_I'm sorry…' _he thought as his eyelids lowered slowly for what would be the last time. _'I made a huge mistake.'_ And this time, he wasn't referring to the mistakes that had caused him to be discovered by Near. _'And- I wish I could have told you out loud, but…I think… maybe I…might have…fallen…'_

A gentle smile crossed L's face and a hand as transparent as the rest of him caressed his cheek, though Light felt no more than a tingle.

"I know." L said softly, brushing away the single tear that slid down Light's cheek as Light finally slipped away, towards the warmth and comfort stretching out to him, pulling him away from the cold metal stairway, where his body- the body of a murderer whom had once been an idealistic boy with a good heart lay, completely and thoroughly dead.

"I know." L sighed once again as he disintegrated into the dusk light, a small smile playing about his lips.

"I did too. And I look forward to seeing you there, Light-kun. After all, even Heaven would be Hell without you."

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There we are! Hope you all enjoyed! Look out for chapter 4 of Matagot soon! Leave a review if you'd like (I enjoy reading them.)

Smile! :D

Ireina


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